Thursday, November 20, 2008

Dear Poker Gods,

I'm sorry. I seemed to have displeased you in some way. 

Please give me a sign as to what I need to do to get back in your good graces. I played but 9% of the hands dealt to me, only opening with raises and continuation bets on the flops I hit; flopped the nuts straight 3 times last night to lose to flushes and full houses with runner, runner cards; hitting the second nut flush using both cards in the hole only to find the nut flush hit at the same time; and flopping top set kings only to end up 3rd to a straight and a flush (again runner runner); holding AK 7 times and playing them to a win rate of 0% - has taught me a valuable lesson - I have offended thee.

I'm sorry.

I paid one extra buy in last night before closing the lid on my laptop pushing completely crappy cards into an amazing collection of AA, KK and flopped nuts held by some of the most passive players in the history of poker. I felt that this was good penance for my disobedience. If it is not enough, please give me a sign.

I'm on bended knee, gravelling at your feet. I'm so very sorry I have offended thee.

With faith and obedience, your humble servant,


Short-Stacked Shamus said...

There always lettin' us humans down.

Skylarking an all-time fave... picked up my old scratchy LP before they'd switched off "Mermaid Smiled" for "Dear God." Always liked "DG" better as a postscript, not part of the regular record.

lightning36 said...

Looks like a virgin sacrifice may be in order. Good luck trying to find one in the poker blogger community.

muhctim said...

Hilarious post. I think the modern thing to do is burn a deck of cards--Bicycle--not the cheapies either--it's gotta hurt man. Good Luck!!