Lucksackary: How I bluffed, cheated, folded and laughed my way to $137.50

The secret to winning a tournament of this caliber is education. If you work hard enough at learning about poker, you too can win the Donkament.

My education comes from reading the excerpts of the coming book "Stupid/System" by Julius Goat. In the last chapter published, I found the gem that pushed my game over the edge. Its a concept called "Table Image."

Most people don't realize how important it is to chose the correct background to their Full Tilt application. Bayne, a noted authority on the game of poker, commented on the latest chapter about how hacking the app and making the final table your default view will "... (give) me a more confident mindset."

I'm always looking for an edge...this seems to be the edge I was looking for. In my first tournament with the hack in place, I won it all! The grand prize. A cool stack of green backs. Two Black Aces retirement fund. $137.50.

With my confident mindset intact, it was time to put some cards in the air and play some poker. Since this is a rebuy, we never speak of what ACTUALLY transpired during the rebuy period. If you weren't there, all you need to know is that raises were made and raises were called. Fortunes were won and fortunes were lost. The only thing of public note was Two Black Aces set a new record for the number of individual rebuys. For his heroic efforts, I am truly grateful.

Here is my starting table:

• Seat 1: jimdniacc
• Seat 2: Joanne1111
• Seat 3: Julius_Goat
• Seat 4: IslandBum1
• Seat 5: Kajagugu
• Seat 6: OhCaptain
• Seat 7: Donkette
• Seat 8: Baywolfe

A general observation that I came away from this period of the tournament: if you REALLY want to confuse a group of bloggers during the rebuy period of a donkament, do a standard 3.5XBB raise. Stops them dead in there tracks. Seriously, they look like the proverbial deer looking into the headlights. We actually had hands the LOOKED like poker during the rebuy. It was a beautiful thing. I heard Scooby Doo in the background, "Huh?"

In these rebuys, my goal is to get a nice size pile of chips and then sit on them until the end of the rebuy. Give myself enough to play without fear in the beginning of the poker portion of the evening. At the break, I bought the add-on and started the post-rebuy period with T$22,330. I was second in chips. Kajagugu (3,800), Donkette (3,650) and Baywolfe (7,260) had steep hills to climb. Julius_Goat seemed still hung over from last weeks donkfest, but still had enough chips to play with (11,735). IslandBum1 was easily our table captain with (49,645). Joanne1111 was 3rd in chips with (18,080). We lost jimdniacc towards the end of the rebuy period. I believe this was to allow him to focus on his BDR duties. It was now time to play some actual poker.

This first phase of the tournament I employed a classic technique called "Cleaning the kitchen." You see the wife was away for the evening helping the SIL with her birthing classes. I still had a will to live so I stayed home. Unfortunately...I also had no desire to clean up after supper. Since the will to live was stronger than my will to die at the hands of my wife...I used liberal use of the fold button to buy me the time needed to clean up the kitchen and dining room. Success was had as when the wife got home she thanked me for taking the time to clean up. All was well.

I spent several blind levels folding. The antes kicked in, so I did start stealing enough to tread water. I hover right around T$20,000 for several blind levels. There was plenty of action to watch, I took this as a signal to just sit at the sidelines and let every attack each other. We lost Kajagugu when he ran second pair into Donkette's pocket kings.

Several hands later, we lost a player to the first time AA got cracked after the rebuy period. Baywolfe called the all in raise from Julius_Goat. Aces were just no match when Goat turned over the 7 high flush draw and hit it on the turn.

Since we were now down to 5 runners, I stepped up the pace in which I'm playing hands. I had hoped by now that I was seen as playing very tight.

Julius_Goat learned the hard way that top pair and second kicker is no match for Donkette's pocket aces, and the master scribe goes home to contemplate why he was unable to grasp the concepts in his own book and go deeper in this tournament. After the dealer yell, "Dead man walking. Seat open!" RaisingCayne, also known as "Massive Chipleader" joins us in an empty chair on my left. Let me tell you, nothing made me happier then to have the tournament chipleader and darn good poker player sit down on my left. Yippeee!!!

I countinued to just keep treading water. My stack never really changing size much. It was at this time we started getting a brand new appreciation about just how HOT Joanne1111 really is. Everyone at the table was listening to BDR. Joanne1111 was broadcasting with the rest of the game and right around this time in the tournament, she had some of the loudest orgasms ever broadcast by Instant Tragedy. Well done! I was surprised she could still play poker. I figured she'd been out for a LONG smoke break after that. OMG!!! OMG!!!

The five of us just kept shifting the chips around the table. I really hadn't been paying attention to the other table. Without much warning, I found out that my hack had truly worked well and the table filled with 4 new faces...my background and "Table Image" were still intact. The final table had come to me!

• Seat 1: InstantTragedy (46,375)
• Seat 2: Joanne1111 (28,415)
• Seat 3: muhctim (20,945)
• Seat 4: IslandBum1 (11,215)
• Seat 5: twoblackaces (35,524)
• Seat 6: OhCaptain (38,410)
• Seat 7: Donkette (26,760)
• Seat 8: RaisingCayne (65,700)
• Seat 9: BuddyDank (28,656)

I started the final table 3rd in chips. I was happy with that but felt I could really do more if I had less chips. In this next hand, I show why I hate AKo

*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to OhCaptain [Kh Ac]
twoblackaces folds
OhCaptain raises to 2,775 <-I'm out of position. I've been playing tight. Hit the pot button and then the bet button Donkette folds
RaisingCayne calls 2,775 <-OK...whatch ya got
BuddyDank folds
InstantTragedy folds
Joanne1111 folds
muhctim folds
IslandBum1 folds
*** FLOP *** [Qd 3d 5d] <- Could there be a worse flop for me? I'm ace high with no draw. Son of biatch
OhCaptain bets 7,125 <- How about a CB...you got the stones to hang with me here?
RaisingCayne has 15 seconds left to act
RaisingCayne calls 7,125 <- Shit!
*** TURN *** [Qd 3d 5d] [Js]
OhCaptain checks <-WEAK!!! WEAK!!!!
RaisingCayne has 15 seconds left to act
RaisingCayne bets 5,650 <- Hmmm...you paired your queen, or are you screwin with me? OhCaptain calls 5,650 <- FOLD!!! FOLD!!! Wait...damn it...why are you calling?
*** RIVER *** [Qd 3d 5d Js] [7c]
OhCaptain checks
RaisingCayne bets 8,000
OhCaptain folds <- Nice job! I just gave RaisingCayne my chips.
Uncalled bet of 8,000 returned to RaisingCayne
RaisingCayne mucks
RaisingCayne wins the pot (32,675)

I hate AKo. I should have just gotten out of the way on the flop. I didn't play that very smart and I'm pretty sure RaisingCayne knew it. I got the feeling that he knew I was weak. You knew I was weak didn't you.

With Muhctim falling with King high, I was still stinging from my deflation with AK. The BDR guys finally got around to doing the picks. New guy Jim From Nothern Iowa picked me. Sweet! Of course he picked me because we don't live that far apart. Joanada also mentioned she would have picked me next. I felt very honored and just knew this new table image thing was working!

Again, I did much folding and enjoyed much chatting. When this hand occurred, I figured it might just be a good time to double up or go home...

*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to OhCaptain [Ac As]
IslandBum1 folds
OhCaptain: This is better then judy blume
twoblackaces folds
OhCaptain raises to 2,400
Donkette folds
RaisingCayne folds
BuddyDank folds
InstantTragedy folds
Joanne1111 has 15 seconds left to act
Joanne1111 raises to 10,000
OhCaptain raises to 25,385, and is all in
Joanne1111 calls 15,385
OhCaptain shows [Ac As]
Joanne1111 shows [Kh Ks]
*** FLOP *** [6c Tc 8c]
*** TURN *** [6c Tc 8c] [9s]
*** RIVER *** [6c Tc 8c 9s] [Jc]
OhCaptain shows a flush, Ace high
Joanne1111 shows a pair of Kings
OhCaptain wins the pot (51,970) with a flush, Ace high

Yes, I after I pushed them all in, I closed my eyes and waited for the chip dragging sound. Holy Crap Batman! I won! I won! Aces held! Now to make these last. Yeah, right!

A time warp now occurred. The author of this post realized just how long he was running. During the warp, we discovered the Buddy was gay. He also found out the KK is not a favorite to AA. I found out that AK can beat 66 when I removed the burden of chips from Donkette. Joanada keeps everything trim, she doesn't like unkept shrubbery. TBA took a sick beat when he flops top pair vs an unimproved AT...only to witness the A on the turn.

We played 4 handed forever! I also learned that this particular blogament is for a seat at the tournament of champions. Unfortunately, this is a rail seat...but hey, a seat is a seat, right? We also made an agreement after about 9 hours of play (it may have been shorter, but it felt like 9 hours) that the winner of the tournament would pay the 4th place person $10. Seemed fair. I was hovering around that spot, so I agreed.

With the bubble essentially burst by the agreement, I opened up my game a lot and turned on the agression. I was stealing puts and pushing people around for a while building a nice tidy pile. I was getting some bigger pots this way. This had been the first time I'd been fighting back the whole tournament and I was taking advantage of some of the players agressive tendancies.

Here's a hand for you scoring at home. I had a healthy stack of chips when this happened...(I thought I was gonna be rich)

*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to OhCaptain [7d 2c]
NumbBono (Observer): Joanne, you up for Corn Vegas?
InstantTragedy folds
Joanne1111 folds
OhCaptain raises to 7,000
InstantTragedy: were on bdr now numb
RaisingCayne calls 5,000
*** FLOP *** [2h 7c Tc]
Joanne1111: dude if I get my passport in time, I'm there
OhCaptain bets 15,000
NumbBono (Observer): Can't listen right now
RaisingCayne has 15 seconds left to act
InstantTragedy: ah ok
RaisingCayne: only 'cause it's a hammer flop
RaisingCayne folds
InstantTragedy: Got a gitl
Uncalled bet of 15,000 returned to OhCaptain
OhCaptain shows [7d 2c] two pair, Sevens and Twos
OhCaptain wins the pot (15,000)

RaisingCayne was having nothing of it. Was I bluffing or did I actually raise it up with the hammer. Yep. That was the hammer.

The stagnation of 4 people was huge. Our stacks were huge compared the blinds and antes so basically we were waiting for hand over hand or someone to get impatient at the wrong time. And just when I thought I'd be the one...the suckout angel appears to grant me one wish...

*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to OhCaptain [Kh Ah]
InstantTragedy folds
Joanne1111 raises to 33,300, and is all in
OhCaptain raises to 63,600
RaisingCayne folds
OhCaptain shows [Kh Ah]
Joanne1111 shows [As Ad]
Uncalled bet of 30,300 returned to OhCaptain
*** FLOP *** [4c Th Qh]
RaisingCayne: 88
*** TURN *** [4c Th Qh] [2d]
*** RIVER *** [4c Th Qh 2d] [2h]
OhCaptain shows a flush, Ace high
Joanne1111 shows two pair, Aces and Twos
OhCaptain wins the pot (71,200) with a flush, Ace high
Joanne1111 stands up

A flush. Again - the aces get cracked. I don't think I'd ever play this had different.

Down to 3 handed. I'm getting paid for the evening. Not like I needed the money. I was having fun and laughing a lot. Poker was fun again. We really weren't that far apart in chips and several times the lead changed. I really wanted to win this tournament and had made my mind up to take some risks to see if I could get there.
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to OhCaptain [Kc Qs] <-Its 3 handed, I'm on the button. Its time for some pressure.
OhCaptain raises to 15,500
RaisingCayne has 15 seconds left to act
RaisingCayne raises to 35,500 <-Not atypical. Could be a resteal, might be real cards
InstantTragedy has 15 seconds left to act
InstantTragedy has requested TIME
InstantTragedy folds
OhCaptain calls 20,000 <-I'm taking a risk, but I'm will to take a look at the flop and see where this goes. Cayne had be kicking me around a bit. I'd been doing some of my weak leaks. *** FLOP *** [As 5d Jc] <- Hmm...I'm drawing to broadway. I've got position.
RaisingCayne has 15 seconds left to act
RaisingCayne bets 10,000 <- Something about this just tells me weak. This feels like a continuation bet for a hand that's missed. Could it be QQ?
OhCaptain calls 10,000 <-If I'm right about the QQ, I can actually be in a good spot to steal this later, or better yet, hit a ten for the nuts.
*** TURN *** [As 5d Jc] [4s]
RaisingCayne checks <-I'm convinced he's got QQ. There are now 3 draws, the wheel, broadway and now spades. He's got something to fear.
Baywolfe (Observer): this is delicious
OhCaptain checks <- I'm taking the free card. A raise is something I won't call here.
*** RIVER *** [As 5d Jc 4s] [Th] <- welcome to the nuts.
RaisingCayne checks <- Can I bet something here to get value out of this check? Was he just bluffing this whole time? To me, this is just such a pivotal hand.
OhCaptain bets 12,000 <-I know I have the nuts. I'm hoping for a value call. A shove would more fun, but I'm not holding my breath. This is a good, solid player.
RaisingCayne calls 12,000
*** SHOW DOWN ***
OhCaptain shows [Kc Qs] a straight, Ace high
RaisingCayne shows [Qd Qc] a pair of Queens <- Wow. My suspicions were correct. Nice hand sir. I know I got lucky.
OhCaptain wins the pot (120,500) with a straight, Ace high

This crippled RaisingCayne. Not long after this, we were heads up.

InstantTragedy and I didn't really play all that long heads up. I was wearing my gambling shoes and came to play. I also got my money in behind. No need to dig to deep into them. I was calling his all ins with one of my favorite hands heads up JT and I'd call with any ace or any king. It paid off, two suckouts later, I rake in my fortune. $137.50. That's the prize minus the $10 to Joanada.

Wow! That was fun. I haven't played much poker since then. We've been preparing for spring. Seems it might get warm here after all.

I strongly recommend you read Stupid/System. Its helping me. Improving my "Table Image" explains everything. With the right image in place...the world is my oyster. Great job everyone! I had a blast. I'll be back to give this money back, someday. Well, I'll be back, not sure I want to give back the money.